Posted by: wrmcnutt | August 20, 2010

The 2014 Freshman Class

As many of us work in, or near the Academy, I thought it might be interesting to compose a list of facts that will help us understand the mindset of the Class of 2014, who start college in a couple of weeks.

  1. Most of them do not know how to write in cursive.
  2. Email is just too slow.
  3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer has always been hunting vamps in SoCal.
  4. With one in four of them having an immigrant parent, they have no fear of immigration.
  5. John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
  6. Clint Eastwood is a sensitive director, not a kick ass law enforcement officer.
  7. Colorful lapel ribbons have always been word to indicate support for a cause.
  8. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.
  9. They have never twisted the coiled handset wire around their wrist while using the phone.
  10. DNA has always been the magic bullet for crime solving.
  11. Woody Allen has always been married to, not a parent of, Soon-Yi Previn.
  12. Cross burning has always been protected speech.
  13. They have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides or heard the beep to advance.
  14. Computers were never sold without a CD-ROM drive.
  15. They do not understand the pointing to their one’s wrist is a request for the time of day. (I don’t CARE if my cell phone has a clock – how can you not wear a watch?)
  16. Reggie Jackson has always had his rightful place at Cooperstown.
  17. Domino’s has never had a 30 minutes or less commitment.
  18. American companies have always done business in Vietnam.
  19. They were never aware of the dominance of three networks.
  20. Nirvana has always been on the classic oldies station.
  21. J. R. Ewing has always been dead.
  22. “Barney” means a purple dinosaur, not a comics character or a deputy sheriff.
  23. Walmart has never sold handguns.
  24. There has always been a woman on the Supreme Court.
  25. The SYFY channel has ALWAYS been available.

And, finally:

26. Honda has always been a major competitor at Indianapolis.  (WTF?  When did THAT happen?)

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  1. 27. There has always been a unified Germany.

    28. Russia has always been a democracy. (Thought the dissolution of the USSR was in 1991, they won’t remember it.)

    29. Sirens on Wednesdays are tornado drills, not bombing drills.

    30. Coffee comes from Starbucks.

  2. 18 is true for me as well – that’s why we lost. Never let politicians and merchants dictate conduct of war policies – give them exit conditions, then get out of the way.

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